THE LIGHT OF MY WORLD

Matt 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world." A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

She was officially my sister. My oldest sister in fact, but she was more like a second mother to me. She was also my friend, my confidante, and my counselor. Barbara lost a battle with cancer and I lost a sister 16 years ago. She was a light in my dark world. She embodied all the qualities I wanted to be but I wasn't conscious of it at that time; I just knew I liked her company. She was kind and gracious and I was critical and self-absorbed. She created a home for her family and I was lonely young woman looking for love in all the wrong places. She was a patient listener with a tamed tongue and I was a talkative complainer that had a habit of sticking my foot in my mouth. Honestly, she meant much more to me than I did to her. I imagine I was quite a nuisance for her!
Prior to her illness, I was a young working woman but couldn't make it on my own so I moved in with her and her family which included a husband and 3 young children. I didn't just move in; I was unoffically "adopted" and became a part of their family. I joined them for family dinners and family vacations and outings. Being a part of their family was a departure from growing up as a child in my own family. I was the youngest of eleven children and couldn't wait to leave the house. But with my sister's family, I couldn't wait to get home. My sister showed me a loving home.
I remember Barb's living room well even to this day. She loved antiques and they fit well in her country style colonial home. In the corner of her living room was a tall oak hutch with glass pane doors. Atop that hutch was a small lamp with a blue and beige checked shade. That lamp was always burning. She never turned it off and I never thought to ask why.
It was the Christmas season when life slipped slowly away from my sister. She became certain she would not see her children grow, she would not become a grandmother,nor would she travel in retirement with her husband. She wrote goodbye letters to family members not Christmas cards and she gave away her personal belongings rather than wrapped gifts. Her only wish was to live through one more Christmas with her family. I watched her husband carry her from the bed and gently place her on the couch that Christmas day. Tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't want to die and she didn't want this to be her last Christmas. But on January 3rd she took her last breath. The light in my dark world was gone and the light in her living room was turned off.
A lamp continuously shines in my kitchen in honor of Barb and Jesus is now the light of my world. I pray I am the light of my home as Barb was in hers and His love continually shines through me for all to see.